Will you watch at your friend's decked-out home theatre, or go the easy route and find a sports bar? Is this the year to tailgate at the stadium? Break out the Beer Brats.
The people at the party can make the difference between pure awesomeness and hellish torture. Choose your people wisely.
(check all that apply)
Super Bowl Sunday is the 2nd Biggest Day for Food Consumption in America.
What Will You Be Eating?
Do you slam 4 shots of whiskey, then tell your friend that his fiancée has the most annoying voice since Gilbert Godfrey? Do you eat those suspicious looking deviled eggs?
Choose your plays wisely.
We've used science, math, and maybe a little voodoo to determine your test results.
As soon as you walked in the door and were greeted by a guy in dreadlocks who said "Namaste," you knew accepting the invitation from the cute hippie-girl in the yoga class you attend to meet cute girls was a mistake. Instead of beers and buffalo wings you got kale and mineral water; you were forced to discourse on the travesty of male dominated sports; the cute yoga girl made out with her trustafarian boyfriend. Also, your team got trounced and you ended up harshing everyone's mellow by bringing over your famous 5 layered meat dip.
You should have known better than to let Tom host the party this year. He only bought a 24 pack and still asked everyone to chip in. His "make your own sandwich bar" consisted a loaf of Wonderbread, Cheezwhiz and some Oscar Meyer Bologna. To top it off, Cummings from work texted you during the game, letting you know that those month-end numbers better be ready for him first thing in the morning. Since your team didn't even make it to the Super Bowl this year, you cut out early to finish those reports. It could have been worse; at least you got to watch the game.
You recently befriended the head IT guy at work because of your shared love of Skyrim, and he invited to his Super Bowl Party. After you show up and identify yourself as 'friend' to the dude in a wizard's cape the same colors as the 49ers uniforms, you notice there's no TV. Just a bunch of nerds sitting around a table. You're about to bolt when Jerry hands you a cold beer, and your curiosity gets the best of you. Some girl who identifies herself as Wolfs Bane hands you a character sheet explaining you are a level 7 running back, with +5 dexterity and +7 charisma. Hours later, your quest comes to an end when your team Kicks an 80-yard field goal after your Griffin familiar guides the ball between the field goal, which was actually transformed into two serpents at some point. Drunk on mead, you celebrate your victory by declaring yourself RULER OF THE REALM and you take Wolfs Bane as your bride to be. Yeah, you got a little carried away.
When you showed up to the party, your jaw hit the floor at the bounty of awesomeness laid out before you. There were strategically placed flat screens in every room, including both bathrooms, and the food spread was dubbed the 'Magnificent Meat Madness.' Amanda Hugnkiss, that super-hot girl you had a crush on in high school, showed up and lo and behold had recently broken up with her long-term, sleaze-bag boyfriend. Your team won, but you only heard about it later when your friends yelled at you to stop making out with hot pants from high school -- you of course ignored them and continued tonguing.
Things are fuzzy...so very, very fuzzy. The attractive woman lying next to you smiles and says, "Good morning stranger." You mumble something non-committal and stumble to the floor looking for something. Your...dignity?...No. Pants?...No. Phone! As you skim your 30+ texts, you begin to figure out what happened. Tony and Sean got arrested but only after inventing 'naked roof karaoke.' Brad is in the hospital with second-degree hot wing burns. Your car is still at Jill's, covered in 7-layer bean dip (your idea, apparently). Butyour team won, which means you're $200 richer, and as you pour through texts you find one from Sean that reads, "You left with Wendy!! You DOG!" You stumble back into your room and say, "So, uhhh, Wendy, what are we doing today?" She smiles."What aren't we doing today?"
People say everything happens for a reason, and your reason for being alive was to attend this party. Your favorite beer? Check. Your Favorite food (tacos stuffed with pizza)? Check. Ed McMahon showing up to let you know that you won the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes (and you even got him to say "HEY-O!")? Check. As you watched your team's QB throw the most perfect spiral that has ever been, you had a moment of clarity which led you to the meaning of life, and now you are looking forward to a book deal, a motivational speaking tour and truckloads of money (even though you're now above all that). All because you attended the best f*@king party of all time.